I trust God but I don't trust people!
Is this just an irreconcilable fact of life for me?
Maya Angelou is known for saying, when you know better, do better. With the 2024 presidential election looming large, many of us find ourselves cautiously optimistic, with a HUGE emphasis on the word, cautiously. We are overly cautious because when it came to the 2016 presidential election, many knew better but did not do better. Instead we find ourselves relating to another famous Maya Angelou quote, when people show you who they are believe them.
The right choice was beyond obvious yet many chose to do otherwise. We managed to correct that mistake in 2020 and we expected our national nervous system to relax some. Very much to our chagrin, we aren’t able to relax because many leaders that knew better left too many doors open and now the stage is set in a few weeks for an encore of 2016. The stage is set for becoming the national embodiment of fool us once shame on you; fool us twice shame on us; fool us three times, God help us!!
There in lies my struggle. Will God help us? I believe the answer to that question is yes. When I say I trust God, I’m saying the God part of the equation is rather clear to me. I’m not questioning God’s position. God has already sent help. We have all the help we need. So I trust God. At the same time, I don’t trust people because I am left questioning the propensity for mankind to follow God’s leading. How can my trust in God coexist with my skepticism of humanity, the vessel that is often used to reveal God’s love and will?
Obviously, the current state of politics here in the United States is testing my faith in this way. But life in general brings about challenges that similarly test our faith. My faith along these lines has been tested in the realms of relationships, health, finances, and career. Though I must say that for the longest time my struggle centered on trusting God and being frustrated with what I believed to be a lack of His intervention on my behalf. I began to believe that somehow my heart didn’t matter to God. I didn’t believe that God was AGAINST me, but I certainly wasn’t convinced God was FOR me.
I had many venting sessions with God asking why, why not and how come? I do not recall ever receiving a satisfactory answer, which is why I ultimately stopped asking God those types of questions. But somehow by God’s grace, my heart settled enough to understand that God was for me; that God was not withholding any good thing from me; that God was actually not standing in the way of my heart’s desires. This new revelation soothed my spirit and ended my frustration with God.
**This 75-second reel summarizes 13 aspects of God’s will for each of us.**
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Unfortunately that one revelation proved not to be sufficient in resolving my distrust of people. If anything my distrust was heightened because coupled with that revelation was a very clear revelation that our individual free will could indeed supplant God’s will. And I have yet to receive an equivalent revelation that would eradicate my frustration and distrust of people, especially when the consequences of conscious free-will decisions play out as unnecessary chaos, grief and suffering en masse.
So how am I supposed to grapple with this gap? Is it even possible to close this gap? Or is this just an irreconcilable fact of life that my faith cannot override? It certainly appears that way. So what I am supposed to do and how am I supposed to be until other people’s conscious free will aligns with God’s will?
One key piece of the revelation that ended my frustration with God was that I am worthy of His will and that I possessed the free will to either go after what I know I’m worthy of or settle for the failed and even successful attempts by others to nullify the manifestation of God’s will in my life. I could choose to enact my faith and fight for what God says I can have or I could collapse into helplessness, cynicism, apathy, bitterness and jadedness.
Along with the revelation that ended my frustration with God was an understanding that both my spirit and my nervous system benefit when I choose hope over fear. Along with the revelation that ended my frustration with God came the illumination of 1 Timothy 6:12, that we are to fight the good fight of faith. Fights of faith are good fights and we don’t back down from good fights. No, we stand up as worthy contenders that can land punches, go the distance, get knocked down but never give up, even if that means tag-teaming in the next generation to continue the good fight. The good fight of faith is good trouble, as the late-great John Lewis told us.
The good fight of faith says others don’t have to agree. My good fight of faith only requires that I agree with God. Good fights of faith say I don’t have to settle for grappling with the irreconcilable because good fights of faith render the irreconcilable irrelevant.
**This 15-second reel is my Rocky/Creed inspired dramatization of preparing for a good fight.**
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Onward to good fights of faith and Harmonious Balance, my friends!
Johanna
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This is such a valid conflict. I have been going to nature. When the distrust of people arises to the point it’s disruptive in your mind or body, lean into nature (whatever that means to you). Nature to me is tangible access to God. It’s something we can touch feel and immerse ourselves in when we are deregulated. Right now, the looming election makes me feel this gap is going to remain until we get the final verdict of our fate for the next 4 years.
Notice the gap and just let it exist and lean into the trust you have for HIM.
God is worthy of our trust.