Taylor Swift’s "I Can Do It with a Broken Heart" is a tribute to the walking wounded
How our purpose counterbalances invisible wounds and private pain
Am I a Swiftie? Not hardly but
wrote a Note about his favorite songs from Taylor Swift’s latest album, Tortured Poets Department. His connection to the song, I Can Do It with a Broken Heart, connected with me. I, too, have battled with injury and illness. My sister, Angela who is deaf, has faced tremendous challenges. She is someone I admire and serves as an inspiration to me. I’ve witnessed people grapple with all manner of heartache, but on the surface no one would know. And even though I’m not a Swiftie, after reading Russell’s note I was intrigued to at least check out the lyrics to the song. Sure enough the lyrics resonated with me and inspired me to talk more about something that has been percolating in my heart and mind for quite some time now.
You see most, if not all of us, go through life grappling with invisible wounds and private pain. Yet the fact that we all are going through something is a truth that so often eludes us and this bothers me. I want to talk about how NOT to forget this truth so easily and then get into why it is so easy to forget—why purpose transcends our invisible wounds and private pain.
There are two quick personal stories that best illustrate why this bothers me and my recommendation for how we can do better by each other. I shared these two stories in a video that I created a while back. Instead of rewriting it all, I’ll let the video do the work. Captions are included.
If we shouldn’t let our indignance override our intelligence then why is it so easy to do so? In the heat of the moment, like in those two stories, we let ego and emotion take over. Another reason is we purposely cover our pain so well, as Taylor says. An even greater reason is our purpose actually transcends our pain, and perhaps by design. Let me explain…
But first, to cover all bases, let’s start with definitions for both purpose and life purpose.
Life purpose means having set goals and direction for one’s life. And purpose is simply defined as the reason for which something exists.
Purpose can also be simply summed up as intention. Irrespective of which of the three definitions we are using, they all transcend our invisible wounds and private pain. An example of the latter would be Taylor choosing/intending to perform even though she is privately hurting. If we want to use the life purpose definition, Taylor decided long before her heart break the direction she wanted her life and career to take. She made commitments, signed contracts, hired people, sold tickets and prepared shows to perform. All of this outweighs her broken heart. With the first definition of purpose, Taylor could believe that the reason she was put on this earth was to create music and entertain. Again, she predetermined her path long before heartbreak. What may not be as obvious though is how fulfilling her purpose is indeed therapeutic for her. Let me explain with additional examples.
If you follow me, you know I follow sports and glean many life lessons from sports. You also may know that in the 1990s I was a huge fan of the Chicago Bulls. Back then, I purchased and read Michael Jordan’s book, Rare Air. One line from the book has forever stayed with me. Basketball is my refuge. His heart and mind could rest from any and all stressors when he played basketball. He could redirect that energy into basketball where he would be reminded of who he was and what he was capable of doing and overcoming.
More recently, I was reminded of that one line from Rare Air while watching an episode of the I Am Athlete podcast where the fellas interviewed former NFL running back, Reggie Bush, who was stripped of his Heisman Trophy. Reggie was asked the most commonly asked question when people are sharing their stories of triumph. How did you make it through? His response was similar to MJ’s. Football was his safe space. He could block out all of the noise and center himself so that he could best take on the challenges that were before him.
At this point, you may be thinking that some of this could be overindulgence and avoidance. Yes people can fall into avoidance by distracting themselves with the things they enjoy. But there is one more point I’d like to make that to me is the ultimate reason purpose transcends our invisible wounds and private pain.
Going back to sports, Larry Bird once commented about Michael Jordan’s basketball prowess. Larry said that it wasn’t Michael Jordan, but God disguised as Michael Jordan. While this may sound like a superfluous or an obsequious statement, it really isn’t. For those of you that don’t really believe in God, then what I am about to share might sound like a reach to you.
If purpose is the reason for which something exists, then it’s the reason it was created. While I don’t particularly believe we were created for solely one reason, I do believe that our giftings and talents reflect our Creator. Those gifts and talents are often the drivers of our life purpose (refer to my Purpose Series and my 3C Formula for finding your specific life purpose).
In a nutshell if our purpose, gifts and talents are God-given, then we actually feel closer to God when we are operating in our purpose. We feel the ultimate comfort and safety because God provides the ultimate therapeutic comfort and safety for our brokenness. It’s within that comfort and safety that healing can begin. It is where we are reminded that we are not limited by heartache and pain. It is where we are reminded that God’s will is for us to still experience grace, mercy and goodness even though all hell has broken loose in our lives.
Our purpose, giftings and talents are often therapeutic to others. Others see God, like Larry Bird did, through our purpose, giftings and talents. Even our pain bows to purpose. In the midst of our grief and pain, we often choose to channel that pain into purpose. We usually decide that our invisible wounds and private pain will not be in vain, that it will serve as platform for purpose anew. And that newfound purpose can revive us such that pain and grief loses their grip on us. To a point that the only reason people know what we are going through or have been through is because we told them so. Purpose not only makes our pain less obvious to others. The therapeutic power and transcendent nature of purpose makes our pain less obvious to us.
Onward to transcendent purpose and Harmonious Balance my friends,
Johanna
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Therapeutic indeed!