My Sister; My Inspiration
A birthday tribute to one of my personal balancers
You may have noticed that within the title and/or subtitle of each of my posts is some version of the word balance. You may have also noticed that I may call a specific person or a particular virtue or value a balancer. So what is a balancer? Normally I look to an official dictionary for a bona fide definition. But in this case, I consider the term, balancer. a bit more unique to the ideal of Harmonious Balance. As such, here is what balancer means according to me:
A balancer is a virtue or value that moderates us individually and collectively from extreme tendencies, actions, and perspectives. In the case of a person designated as a balancer, that person embodies a particular virtue or value through that person’s body of work and/or life experiences.
As the founder of Harmonious Balance, it would be a fair assumption that I endeavor to be a balancer. However if you solely considered my core personality and the apropos engineering path I set out on initially, the idea of becoming a balancer may seem illogical. But when I’ve reflected on my life’s journey I consider my sister, Angela, to be one of my personal balancers. One who has rounded out my perspective; one whose life example simply does not allow for me to settle into despair; one whose mere existence developed a level of empathy within me that could not be denied when my innate personality traits would otherwise render me comfortable with empathy remaining dormant; one whose persistence teaches me that if she can push through then so can I; one whom God has used to solidify my understanding of our inherent self-worth.
So who is Angela Janel Smith? I introduced Angie and my other siblings in a previous article. So you know she is the second born to my parents. She is five years younger than our sister, Beverly, two years older than me and she was born deaf. The fact that she is two years older than me is not merely an incidental fact. She was here before I got here. She has been a factor in my life from my very first breath. If not my very first breath, then the my second, third, or fourth day of life whenever my mother and I were released from the hospital to go to our home on Wabash Avenue in Gary, Indiana.
Often I am asked when and how did I learn sign language? Memory-wise, I’ve never not known sign language. My mother taught us but I have no recollection of her teaching us, which means I began learning it before my long-term memory was even settled in my brain. There has never been a moment in my life where I haven’t been OTHER-wise minded.
There is a seven-word response that I often hear in conversations. I-NEVER-THOUGHT-ABOUT-IT-THAT-WAY. I believe this reaction is due to my conditioning to always consider something or someone different. Angela’s presence in my family developed within us a willingness and openness to learn new things and evolve towards wholeness. Inclusivity as a personal value was baked into me from the jump. Not settling for the way things are and pressing past fears of reprisal was something that I witnessed first hand through my parents’ fierce advocacy of her as a young child to this day, her 49th birthday.
What I believe was set in motion for me, long before I was even aware of it, was a sense to challenge the norms, both big and small, that so easily beset us. Or as I say here at Harmonious Balance, the things that throw us off balance.
Angie has endured more than her fair share of trials and tribulations. If her only limitation was being deaf, Angie would be batting a thousand. Instead numerous health challenges, on top of being deaf, has been her lot in life. With Parkinson’s disease being the latest curve ball thrown at her. To suffer such afflictions understandably begs the question of why this has happened to her, specifically? What purpose does all of this serve? In our humanness, it’s hard to be satisfied with any answer to that question.
Yet, from bearing witness to Angela’s life and as a consequence paying attention to others with disabilities and grappling with illness, I’ve come to learn that God’s goodness is not confined to our societal norms and standards. Our spirit can still thrive even when our flesh is weak. Our spirit can transcend all our physical limitations and make us even more beautiful. Angie is beautiful and has made our family more beautiful. Angela is the embodiment of her name, angel, of which one of the many definitions is messenger of God.
On behalf of my family I think can safely say that God has delivered many, many messages about His character, His will, and His love through Angela. For me, individually, I just wanted to take a moment in tribute on my angel-sister’s birthday to say message received.
Love you much, Sister Angela! Happy Birthday!!
Onward to Harmonious Balance my friends,
Johanna
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Very touching!