LOVE: Life's Ultimate Balancer
Love is often an overused word. At the same time, it is often the appropriate word. Dictionary.com has 24 definitions for the word. Though I’m not so sure that’s a good thing for the English language. But if ever there were an exception to having so many definitions it would be for the word love.
Many take to quoting the scriptures, 1 Corinthians 3:4-8, to describe love.
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails…
As great as these scriptures are with their description, love is so expansive that I don’t think these scriptures fully encapsulate it. I would add:
Love is compelling. Love is energy. Love is an inconquerable and incomparable force. Love cannot be denied. Love is healing. Love is not merely an emotion. Love is a need. Love is limitless. Love is immortal. Love is universal. Love is felt across all living and breathing species. Love is strength. Love is joy. There is no shame in love.
That last sentence, there is no shame in love is my takeaway from the scripture, there is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out fear. (1 John 4:18). So many have cast aspersions on love and vow to never love again because of disappointment, disillusionment, and heartbreak. Many are ashamed to admit their desire for love in their life. Many actually feel shame having “loved so hard” only for things to have fallen apart. I get it, but I tell you that the revelation that there is no shame in love was a truth that settled my heart.
To be ashamed of showing love and the desire to be loved can be a self-sabotaging condition. Love is not merely a desire; love at all levels is a two-sided need. We have a need to both give and receive love. Unexpressed love is misery and a lack of love is felt acutely. We innately know when love is the missing element in our lives. It leaves a void unlike any other on both the giving and receiving ends.
Love is the ultimate filler and the ultimate conqueror. One of the reasons love conquers hate is hate doesn’t leave a void. No one misses hate. No one overcomes hate and wants to go back to it. There is no such thing as a lack of hate.
Love is the ultimate balancer. Several years ago, sometime between 2009 and 2017, I heard then Vice President, Joe Biden, say something that really struck me and it has stayed with me.
A fulfilled life is something to do; someone to love; and something to look forward to.
The reason we continually go after love when we have achieved so much is accomplishments are not enough. Going it alone, even in our individual purpose, is not fun. This 11-second exchange has stuck with me from the moment I heard it when I saw first saw this film over 20 years ago.
No matter what we accomplish, no matter what we possess, if love is missing we are left feeling out of balance. Many of us have experienced love at some level to know that it is something we don’t want to live without. As Tony Robbins says, once you experience love, it becomes a mandate in your life. As much as those in relationships act like they envy those that are single, in no way would they voluntarily trade places with a single person. As much a single person says they have a full life, when love comes along, trust that they will make room for it.
I said all of this to lay the groundwork for the ultimate point of this Valentine’s Day message. Not too long ago, #RelationshipGoals came on the scene and videos and/or photos of loving relationships received that hashtag on social media. Interestingly enough oftentimes, the response from the couples themselves was an admonishment that everything hasn’t been rosy in their relationship. They wanted to make it clear that their relationship wasn’t some type of fairy tale.
While it is true that many people have a fantasy of love that they are in hot pursuit of, I think that most people readily understand that highs and lows come with relationships. I think many set their #RelationshipGoals understanding that life is hard but they rather do the hard with a life partner. I think many set their #RelationshipGoals understanding that it’s very possible to come through the rocky times as a couple in tact and in love. I think that many set their #RelationshipGoals understanding that they have love to give and that they are worthy of love. I think that many set their #RelationshipGoals understanding that love is not selfish. I think that many set their #RelationshipGoals understanding they want something that is not fleeting but something very real. I think that many set their #RelationshipGoals understanding that the love they desire should not be downplayed or denied.
I think that many set their #RelationshipGoals understanding from healthy marriage examples that through it all love prevails and they simply want the opportunity to experience love prevailing for them too.
Happy Valentine’s Day!!!
Onward to Love and Harmonious Balance, my friends!
Johanna
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