Embracing Seasons of Anonymity
My one year mark on Substack
Friday, 9/20/24, marked one year since I published my first article on Substack. As the day approached, I wondered if I would publicly acknowledge it. That’s what most people do. But I didn’t want to do what most people do. I wanted my take on this milestone to be different, not cliche. Nothing was stirring in my spirit and I didn’t want to conjure up something just to mark the occasion. So I decided not to force it. Plus no one else would be checking for it which means no one else will miss it. Ahhh, one benefit of being anonymous!
In all honesty though, I thought the date was in October and had more time to think of something meaningful to share. When I double-checked the date and realized I was in a time crunch, that’s when I sought permission not to write something. I also knew that I didn’t have to be spot-on with the date. So if something dropped in my spirit to share within a few weeks of that time, that could be my anniversary post. Sure enough something dropped in my spirit to share and you could in turn join me in celebrating this milestone.
I first mentioned that I was in a season of anonymity and that I was embracing it when I wrote about my journey with hair loss. Realizing that I essentially was moving through the world anonymously, I need not expend more physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual energy than necessary when it came to my hair.
So how could I possibly move through the world anonymously? Who wants to be anonymous?
Well first off, I’m one of 8.2 billion people in the world; one of 340 million people in the United States; one of 9.7 million people in Los Angeles County; one of over 17,000 Substack authors. I won’t even add in the ginormous numbers of all the other social media platforms Harmonious Balance is on to belabor the point that the numbers in and of themselves kind of render me anonymous. What I will add is if these algorithms work the way I think they do, I need to get comfortable with the idea of being anonymous as this season may very well be prolonged. See the recent exchange I had below with
asking about the possibility of success on Substack without a carryover audience.
I’m not here to rag on algorithms though. I’m not here to rag about anything. I’m here at this milestone to offer a different perspective that might be helpful to someone else.
The idea of anonymity became less threatening to me years ago (long, long before I had even the slightest inkling to create Harmonious Balance; long before Substack was even a thing) as I walked through Central Park during my second visit to New York City and had an a-ha moment. The city was so large that no one really cared that I was there. I realized that revelation could be taken two ways:
I could feel insignificant, disconnected and hopeless about never being seen.
I could feel empowered to do what I want because no one else is thinking about me enough to be critical of me. Everyone else is doing their own thing. So I may as well do my own thing too.
As someone that has grappled with feeling invisible, I can’t say that I immediately adopted the second mindset. But there have been times in my life where I was reminded of that second mindset and learned how to leverage my anonymity for my own well-being.
How so?
In a nutshell, I don’t believe in self-inflicted wounds. While I’d like to grow Harmonious Balance as quickly as possible, growing as quickly as possible for me has never included sacrificing my well-being. I’m not trying to break my face in the process. That’s a call back to Arianna Huffington, the founder of The Huffington Post. She collapsed from exhaustion, hit her face on her desk and broke her cheekbone!
Harmonious Balance is all about energy management and at times energy conservation is required. Seasons of anonymity, in my opinion, are kind of seasons of energy conservation. Seasons being either shorter or longer periods of time. Quite frankly bringing Harmonious Balance to Substack was in and of itself an act of energy conservation. Harmonious Balance launched as video content. But life demands rendered me incapable of keeping up with my video ambitions.
Make no mistake about it though, Substack is not second fiddle. Writing was always my preference, but the growth of video made me believe video was the best path to start with. I’m very thankful to have stumbled upon Substack because while video was fun, writing is what I wanted to do all along.
What I also wanted all along was for this endeavor to be one of joy and one that I would look forward to day in and day out. That means I have to give myself grace, not give way to impatience, chaotic energy. and unhelpful opinions, especially when things don’t happen the way I expect. And growth for my first year on Substack was slower than I expected bringing me to a decision point. I could either give way to impatience, chaotic energy, and unhelpful opinions or lean into the grace of anonymity.
The grace of anonymity says I don’t have to respond to slower growth with a knee-jerk reaction. The grace of anonymity says my expectations and timelines are not set in stone. The grace of anonymity makes it safe for me to make mistakes. The grace of anonymity makes it easier for me to change my approach. The grace of anonymity tells me that I have time to sift through all the noise to hear sound advice and learn true best practices. The grace of anonymity reminds me that I’m committed to Harmonious Balance for the long haul, fast growth schemes are fleeting but slow and steady still wins the race.
Of course this grace is available to tap into whether you are anonymous or not. However, I have found that there is more latitude when the primary person I am accountable to is me. Which means what stays at the forefront of my mind is why I’m pursuing what I’m pursuing and what I’d like to experience in my pursuit, which again is joy.
I’m not interested in growth for growth’s sake. Growth for me has always meant meaningful growth. Growth for me has never meant bombarding inboxes or flooding timelines to make sure everyone remembers my name and what I have to offer. I always want my work to be a welcome breath of fresh air because I’m sharing a perspective that’s useful. Growth for me looks like one person at a time saying, I think Johanna is on to something. I think I’m going to stay connected to Harmonious Balance.
From a work perspective that looks like pacing myself not simply to be known but to be well received. And in this past year I have been well-received on Substack by 102 subscribers and 247 followers. I am forever thankful for your readership, support, and for making Harmonious Balance less and less anonymous.
Onward to year two of Harmonious Balance, my friends!
Johanna
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Johanna, this post is absolutely brilliant! It truly feels like the right path to be on, to enjoy moments of growth but also to appreciate the anonymity when it shows up. It feels radical and obvious at the same time. Congrats to you on a year of dedication and joy-seeking!
I think I’ll stay with Harmonious Balance.
Congratulations on a job well done!