Addressing the idealism imbalance of "When they go low, we go high."

Decoding and settling what this means once and for all

First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama, Democratic National Convention, 2016

It’s been nearly eight years since then First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama, uttered those contagious seven words. Immediately, her sentiment was embraced. But that embrace was short-lived. People grew frustrated because it seemed as if “going high” didn’t produce favorable results, especially on the political front. It seemed as if those “going low” could only go lower and the only way to beat them at their game is to go low with them. As comedian, DL Hughley, said recently on the Tamron Hall show about his feud with fellow comedienne, Monique, “If they go low, I’m going low with you.” And if I remember correctly, I believe I heard him say in another interview that he’s “going all the way to hell with you.”

He certainly was not the first to make statements like this. As I said, the frustration has continued to mount to the point that Mrs. Obama was essentially asked if she stood by that principle. To which she responded yes. Yet not many are so inclined to follow along, even though we know this principle is the ideal we should aim to reach. So let’s break this down and come up with a way to move forward towards this ideal without losing our sense of fight.

While I remember listening to her speech in real time, I had to re-watch it to properly prep for writing this piece. She actually made the statement early on in her speech while she was talking about teaching her girls how to handle the negative chatter and nonsense that may come their way, specifically about their father, then President, Barack Obama.

So if we take her comments in the context presented, then I think that most would agree that we don’t fuel fires like that with more oxygen. We don’t dignify foolishness with a response (especially not a gutter response). When we know the truth, why entertain foolish lies?

This approach probably works best for smaller-scale, non-public squabbles. On the other hand when discord becomes public, “going high” becomes much more of a challenge. The public, particularly the mainstream media and social media, likes to fan the flames of discord. In my early engineering days, I read a quote that arguing with an engineer is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a while you realize the pig is enjoying it. They revel in it. So while we, individually, may not provide the oxygen to keep the fire spreading, other people are eagerly doing so. Despite our desire to remain high there are others (including our own egos) that poke and prod at us to go low. They want us to fight fire with fire.

As much as we want to fight fire with fire, it’s not effective. We fight fire by extinguishing it.

Going tit for tat does not extinguish the fire. Getting down and dirty in the muck and mire does not extinguish it. Contrary to popular belief, going high does not mean do not respond. Going high means responding in a way that extinguishes the fire. And we have to be strategic in extinguishing the fires that come our way. A strategic response beats a dirty tactic any day. Dirty tactics only dirty us up. Mrs. Obama’s advice to her girls was to prevent them from getting dirtied up. Those who followed the doctrine of nonviolence during the Civil Rights movement did so because they knew if they responded in kind, they would walk right into the traps laid for them.

Make no mistake about it though, the strategy of nonviolence did not lack force. It just wasn’t the force of violence. It actually proved to be an even greater force than violence. It proved to be the force that would bring about the victories of the Civil Rights Movement. I do not share this example to draw a specific connection between nonviolence and going high. My point is that they did not disqualify themselves from the fight. They figured out how to fight clean and win.

I’ll close with a post that was reshared by Dr. Bernice King, the youngest daughter of Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Now that’s what going high looks like!

Onward to Harmonious Balance my friends,

Johanna

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